September is Leukemia Awareness Month: In Memory of My Son

colt1992-2016.jpg
On March 10, 2016 at 2:40AM, my son…
my handsome, loving, kind, caring and wonderful son, passed away. 
Acute Myeloid Leukemia ripped him from this world at the age of 23.  

I really did think Colt would beat cancer and that he would be here for many more years.  But no, cancer decided it wanted to win…and it won in 31 days.   

 
Colt died only 31 days after being diagnosed.  
31 DAYS!  
 
All the medical technology and medicine and treatments could not save him.
 I feel the doctors gave us false hope and that makes me angry.
colt 11-10-1992.jpg

Colt’s very first photo, November 8, 1992

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Colt’s very last photo.  March 9, 2016

 I knew that leukemia would kill him, someday but not 31 days after being diagnosed.

I miss Colt so much. 
The pain of losing him is so deeper than anything I have ever felt. There are no words to even begin to describe how I feel.  A large piece of my heart and soul died in Dallas when Colt passed. I am so very sorry I did not get there in time to say good bye…regret and guilt eat me alive some days.

Every day life is hard without Colt.  I miss his wonderful smile and his laugh. I miss hearing him say “Hi Mama”.  I miss talking to him and I miss hearing his voice. I miss hearing “I love Mama!”.  I miss the “good morning”, “good night” and “I miss you Mama”, text.  
Hell I miss everything about my precious son.
 Most days, I feel like a robot, just going through the motions of each day.  
I do my best stay busy to keep the overwhelming emotions from taking me over. 
My heart and soul ache to the core.
 
Colt is now home with me.  
ColtsAshes

Colt’s Ashes Photo (c)2016 Shannon G. Wamsley

 

 

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In Memory of Annabelle

Six years ago today a piece of my heart left this world.

I miss my Annabelle (Bella) today just as much as the day she left. I miss her bark, her cute little stubby tail wagging and her doggie kisses.

I miss cuddling with her, taking her on car rides, her playing with tennis balls and her playing with all her stuffed babies.

Bella was a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. She will be forever a part of me.

I love you Bella forever and always!
bella2

Happy New Year 2018

Photos (c)2018 Shannon G. Wamsley

Photos (c)2017 Shannon G. Wamsley

From my family to yours, I wish you a very happy New Year

Today begins a new year. A year that my son will not get to see.
Another year without my parents. Another year of an irrational fear of death and dying.
Another year of panic attacks.

BUT…also…another year to live and to be alive.
I do hope 2018 treats me and everyone well.

Hold your loved ones close and let them know how much you love them….not just today, but every day! Tomorrow is never promised, so live life to the fullest.

9-11-2001 We Will Never Forget

After sixteen years, it is still hard to believe this horrible day happened.
So many lives lost, so many families ripped apart at the seams.
It just seems so unreal. But sadly, it is real and WE WILL NEVER FORGET
Remember9-11

A sad day for America
As rejoicing rang from hell,
Awakening a mighty giant
On the day the towers fell.

Our hearts were saddened
As we watched this vicious act unfold,
As innocence met a fiery death
And seeds of war were sowed.

Shouts rang out from the middle east
That Allah has done his good
But no god joys in faultless deaths
Through certain cowards could.

America just sort of glides along,
But don’t step on her toes …
For her belief in right and justice
Will stomp out freedom’s foes.

~ Author Unknown ~

Leukemia Awareness Month

wearorange

On March 10, 2016 at 2:40AM, my son…my handsome, loving, kind, caring and wonderful son, passed away. Acute Myeloid Leukemia ripped him from this world at the age of 23.

colt 3-10-16

I honestly do not know how I have made it through to now. I really did think Colt would beat cancer and that he would be here for many more years. But no, cancer decided it wanted to win…and it won in 31 days. Colt died only 31 days after being diagnosed. 31 DAYS! All the medical technology and medicine and treatments could not save him. I feel the doctors gave us false hope and that makes me angry. I know that leukemia would kill you someday but not 31 days after being diagnosed.

I miss Colt so much.

leukemia-awareness

The pain of losing him is so deeper than anything I have ever felt. There are no words to even begin to describe how I feel. A large piece of my heart and soul died in Dallas when Colt passed. I am so very sorry I did not get there in time to say good bye…regret and guilt eat me alive some days.

Every day life is hard without Colt. I miss his wonderful smile and his laugh. I miss hearing him say “Hi Mama”. I miss talking to him and I miss hearing his voice. I miss hearing “I love Mama!”. I miss the “good morning”, “good night” and “I miss you Mama”, text. Hell I miss everything about my precious son.

Most days, I feel like a robot, just going through the motions of each day.
I do my best stay busy to keep the overwhelming emotions from taking me over.
My heart and soul ache to the core.

Colt loved being a solider and I am so very proud of him.

Colt’s ashes are at home with me. Someday soon, I will make sure his ashes are placed in a place fit for a soldier.

colt1992-2016

 

Memorial Day 2017

in-memory-of-september-11

“Today is the day we put aside to remember fallen heroes and to pray that no heroes will ever have to die for us again. It’s a day of thanks for the valor of others, a day to remember the splendor of America and those of her children who rest in this cemetery and others. It’s a day to be with the family and remember.” ~Ronald Reagan

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Memorial Day is not the first day of summer. Memorial Day does not mean a weekend filled with BBQ’s and parties.  Memorial Day is the time to pay homage to the men and women who died while serving our country.  Memorial Day is a day to honor those who died to give us our freedom.